It is 7:23 going for 30 minutes before I hop on the bike and head out along the Charles River to work. Wish it was the Wanganui. I used to my ride my bike along the river for miles. A favorite spot to stop and take a swim was by this huge tree with a rope swing. We would swing out over the river and drop. What fun memories. I have been NZ as of late. I digress…
My awareness first thing in the morning: I am committed to my cup of pu’er tea as soon as I get up. Nothing happens without this commitment to my tea. Even Pep knows Mommy must have at least 1/2 cup of tea before we go out. Then I can have the rest of my tea in the courtyard as we watch the Turkeys and perform scent surveillance around the neighborhood.
It seems there are many kinds of commitments internal and external. The internal commitments to care for ourselves the external commitments being those we make with others. Like my commitment not obligation to choose to care for my 92 year old Mom when she was diagnosed with Pancreatic CA. It was a big commitment that had life changing results. My commitment with whole heart. Yes it changed my life style for over 2 years. I moved into her apartment leaving my home. I would not have it any other way. Life changing commitment. I am now released of that commitment for 14 months and it has a lingering imprint on me. A commitment that has been let go of that I would gladly like to keep but it has been completed.
Other commitments are superficial ones we can wiggle out of when we feel exhausted, overwhelmed. The ones we reschedule with friends because something comes up. Not in a disrespectful way just that life happens. In the case with Mom there is no rescheduling there is no wiggle room. And then the morning tea commitment that is also unwavering. My life long commitment to my Pup for hopefully a very long life G-d willing.
The commitment and vows I make around his care, involvement and integration as family member. The commitment I took when I decide to bring him into our family. That he would not be left alone he would go everywhere with us. That our lifestyle would change and would weave around his inclusion. He has traveled to Spain with me and goes kayaking on the Charles river among many other adventures. Another deep rooted commitment much like that with parents to children. No matter what happens shy of death it is a 24/7 commitment.
Writing for 24 minutes shy 6 minutes. Ok the point is I committed to write and I have a theme developing. I have to shave off 6 minutes because I committed to ride my bike to work and it takes 45 minutes and I have a full day followed by another commitment to meet a friend for Romeo and Juliet in the Common. Which commitments will I keep which one will I left go of?