50 minutes left before tomorrow!
Omg here it is 11:05 the day is almost tomorrow. I don’t care what it takes I am committed to write something tonight. Thinking about my blog themes for the website to have a holding place when I am ready to launch. I want to do one MLM as a passive stream of additional income . Passive brain fitness as one of my favorite things.
Yuck that can go somewhere else not here. This is really about my process and what is happening with my writing challenge for content development. I had such a great writing session on Sunday. Afraid this is going to be dull. That being said I am getting me work flow in a better grove. Applying the 30 minute time and sometimes longer due some of the videos I needed to watch are longer. However I am keeping up with evernote, and finish agent and website. I can say I was able to toggle efficiently between a variety of work tasks and play time with pepper. I can see that I was quite productive today. Even though I had 3 big long meetings.
The other thing was taking a several day hiatus was so important and limiting use of devices and media made a world of difference. Today I was able to upload so much information and understand how to use it. I feel really good about that. The past several weeks so tired I could barely comprehend. Note to self before I feel like that start incorporating comfort zone and rest periods into my day. Ok only 5 minutes tonight. Coaching tomorrow in the Czech and I have to be up early for the time difference.
What was My Inspiration: Oh such hard questions so late at night. First I just want to say after yesterday’s writing I had the courage to write up a FB group on Energy Meditation it actually came to me today. In a way I already did my 30 minutes of expanding writing on gaining clarity on describing the product for web page. And yes it could use tweaking.
Is it being lazy and lack of commitment stopping from keeping my new writing habit? Or is it something hardwired in my nervous system?
Timer is ticking. I am sitting here looking through a slice of building out at Boston Harbor with the sun just rising. Wearing my sunglasses because the the sun is coming right through my window onto the lap top.
As you may have noticed I have not logged a 30 minute writing session for over a week. I did however log into my program so I kept that part of the habit. I left off somewhere ranting about commitments. That being said it will provide content for other posts but not for today.
About my Hiatus was it about being lazy, here it comes lack of commitment, being flat out tired, or just resisting taking action or all of the above? Perhaps all these share some similar elements or common threads. As I explore deeper into how I am hardwired and how creating new habits is successful and or struggle. The month of July could have been better named new habit creation month. I started my yoga streaming class, I transitioned from taking the car to work to riding my bike to work. Another blog coming about that experience and the danger in biking . Briefly depending where you live and the path you ride to your destination could be hazardous to life. More to come another Blog (Biking to work – what I did not expect)
So back to making new habits in month of July. Up leveling my diet out of necessity due to some food sensitivities. The bottom line here is about taking consistent action in all these areas. The easiest habits is the bike riding 2 days a week 6 miles each way. The habit that I thought would be pretty easy was this one. Just flip up the lap top enjoy the view of the harbor, pu erh tea brewed by my side and the way I go. It is Sunday morning before work I am ready to write look forward to it actually. So what is the element of resistance during the week and doing it everyday just for a few minutes. I have identified I enjoy it? So why not do it daily for 30 minutes? Maybe that is not the right question. Lets explore the others. Am I lazy? Um a bit of self talk but lets check my belief on a scale of 1-10 how I feel about it right now um 4/10. Lets test another When I am tired and exhausted I can’t set my mind to do anything 10/10 that has been definitely me this past week. Lets check the resistance: I have feeling of resistance when laying down a some habits like this that require my attention every day 8/10. I have to drill into that one for some more specifics. Getting somewhere around how my nervous systems is hardwired around setting down new habits how some are easier and others more of a struggle.
The nervous system Fight Flight Flee response is very much hard wired to protect us. If we look at what taking action represents from an cave man perspective taking action every day was a life threatening ordeal. One did not have a lot resources for the comfort and ease of living today. The caveman did not have to do battle in a overly crowded grocery market fighting at who is next at the meat and fish counter or over the asparagus and brusselsprouts. No he had to worry if his food source was going to show up and the risk that it could kill him. Let alone no creature comforts like heat and air conditioning when the weather turns nasty. and certainly no ready made shower or bubble bath to restore tired muscles from the hunt. Or things like worrying and checking in with all his devices, pages, postings, paying bills, and making sure the pool got cleaned, and the laundry gets done. All things we take action in our everyday lives however when comes to taking and creating a better lifestyle or work habit it interesting how my cave woman wants throw up her hand and say back off. Because that is essentially what I am saying to myself. No I don’t want to do another freaking habit. I don’t care if it is good for me or my work productivity. Stop trying to fix what isn’t broken! You are always trying to upend the comfort zone here with these new habits. AH THERE IT IS THE COMFORT ZONE. I AM DISRUPTING THE COMFORT ZONE IN MY NERVOUS SYSTEM SOME ACTIONS NEW HABITS ARE A DISRUPTION AN EARTHQUAKE TO MY COMFORT. Times up part of the deal is set the timer and stop when the timer says so.
The commitments we keep the ones we let go of how it influences our life.
It is 7:23 going for 30 minutes before I hop on the bike and head out along the Charles River to work. Wish it was the Wanganui. I used to my ride my bike along the river for miles. A favorite spot to stop and take a swim was by this huge tree with a rope swing. We would swing out over the river and drop. What fun memories. I have been NZ as of late. I digress…
My awareness first thing in the morning: I am committed to my cup of pu’er tea as soon as I get up. Nothing happens without this commitment to my tea. Even Pep knows Mommy must have at least 1/2 cup of tea before we go out. Then I can have the rest of my tea in the courtyard as we watch the Turkeys and perform scent surveillance around the neighborhood.
It seems there are many kinds of commitments internal and external. The internal commitments to care for ourselves the external commitments being those we make with others. Like my commitment not obligation to choose to care for my 92 year old Mom when she was diagnosed with Pancreatic CA. It was a big commitment that had life changing results. My commitment with whole heart. Yes it changed my life style for over 2 years. I moved into her apartment leaving my home. I would not have it any other way. Life changing commitment. I am now released of that commitment for 14 months and it has a lingering imprint on me. A commitment that has been let go of that I would gladly like to keep but it has been completed.
Other commitments are superficial ones we can wiggle out of when we feel exhausted, overwhelmed. The ones we reschedule with friends because something comes up. Not in a disrespectful way just that life happens. In the case with Mom there is no rescheduling there is no wiggle room. And then the morning tea commitment that is also unwavering. My life long commitment to my Pup for hopefully a very long life G-d willing.
The commitment and vows I make around his care, involvement and integration as family member. The commitment I took when I decide to bring him into our family. That he would not be left alone he would go everywhere with us. That our lifestyle would change and would weave around his inclusion. He has traveled to Spain with me and goes kayaking on the Charles river among many other adventures. Another deep rooted commitment much like that with parents to children. No matter what happens shy of death it is a 24/7 commitment.
Writing for 24 minutes shy 6 minutes. Ok the point is I committed to write and I have a theme developing. I have to shave off 6 minutes because I committed to ride my bike to work and it takes 45 minutes and I have a full day followed by another commitment to meet a friend for Romeo and Juliet in the Common. Which commitments will I keep which one will I left go of?
How many commitments do we make and break everyday?
Today flowed so much better and here it is Friday. I made a conscious effort to to pick and choose from work list and self care list to have a more balanced day. Here I am ready to write what ever comes to mind. I did not have a specific project that required writing so here I am on the blank page. Thinking of a question or awareness that could turn into useful content.
Right now my mind is a bit blank nothing really standing out and just being aware of that. Breathing into the blank space and seeing what comes up. Where did all those conversations in my head go as I was thinking about restarting my Dissolving Barriers program again in the Fall. Um committing to that is a good thing. I think starting the Tuesday after September 14 .
Commitment now that is an interesting word. What a about commitment? What does it mean to you or me. It means I am taking ownership and responsibility. It sometimes feels like a burden or heavy in other situations it feels empowering. How many commitments do we make in a day? How many do we keep and how many do we let go of? I am I able to successfully manage my commitments without burnout, fatigue or frustration. What about commitment to self: Do I commitment to proper nourishment of body and mind so that it can function at optimum performance? Or do I succumb to the cravings and comfort of the traditional junk food diet. How does my commitment around nourishment sustain me or jeopardize me?
When I nourish myself with live, real food my mind has the opportunity to be clear and run ( I am going to exaggerate) like a supercomputer better than my desktop and my smart phone. My body feel energetic and not sluggish. I am motivated to move and flex body through various activities that feel fun and enjoyable without pain or restriction. This sounds a little text book. How would I rate this myself in keeping this commitment? 7/10 and my weakest moments are probably at work as an Occupational Therapist 2x week when comfort snacks abound and when things get stressful it is just so easy to grab for 1, 2, 3, uh oh. So it means I have to prepare my snacks for those moments when need I seek something not only physically satisfying but emotionally satisfying. The traditional junk food snacks just don’t left me up in fact they drain me after about 30 minutes.
Commitment to move and strengthen my body so it can carry me easily with everything I do. It feels good to be strong. How many of us take for granted being able to walk easily and effortlessly anywhere we want to go. I live in a city that is truly a walking city. If you have difficulty walking on your own two feet it will be a struggle to get around easily. Walking is amazing and something we take for granted. Feeling your legs carry your the rest of body through space and suspend your arms away from and lift them up to the sky. What an amazing sensation. I have recently change and up leveled my commitment to moving my body by riding my bike to work 2x a week and getting rid of the car. Committing to my new yoga burn flow exercise 7x a week. This will be the 5th weekend riding my bike I am pretty stoked about keeping that commitment. I am too tired to edit there are many grammatical errors and I apologize. I commit to clean ir up later. Time is up 30 minutes flew by.
Binging loosing focus on priority tasks. What it cost me
OK another huge insight it isn’t brand new…I like to be dramatic it is fun for me. This is what happened. I started updating my linked in page which by the way, this is totally key, was not on the radar for the top 3 tasks to be done today. I came across an opportunity to write my intro about who I am and thought that would qualify as my 30 minute writing challenge and could apply it in other materials. I started writing on the about me / who I am section. No I didn’t go to a word document that would have been smart but would have lost my inspiration. Something about having to do it right now and right there in that little 2000 limiting word box. First draft 3600 words. Cut and paste to save somewhere else for future editing. What! 1 1/2 hours of writing 3 x ignoring the timer until Pep came and saved me. Next session 2 1/2 hours now it is interfering with other important tasks that I wanted to address. I feel like I have some tendencies towards binging ( signs of a work alcoholic)
The aha here is to point out it was not necessary to take the time to write beyond the 30 minutes especially since the linked in page was not even in my thoughts until I opened an email. I spent and dedicated time to something that did not have a priority beyond the exercise thereby forfeiting other higher priority projects and tasks.
I see these patterns in my behavior . I see how I became easily derailed by a mere exercise that turned into a half day project that was not important. It cost engagement with family, taking Pep for a walk on the river, doing some self care, accomplishing other high priority business tasks for what?
Setting and using the timer is very important tool and to ignored. That time in between setting up the next segment gives the opportunity to reassess a projects priority or if it is time to task switch. This writing exercise is not just about writing for a mere 30 minutes but to increase awareness around behavior, habit, obsessions resistance and how it relates to making progress with business and personal care tasks. If I was paying myself today I would have to hold back wages for poor productivity and time management.
Finding the balance not to overcompensate or be consumed and becoming negligent on so many other things to do today. It cost me not enjoying being outdoors longer with Pep. No walk on the river. No 30 minutes with my favorite read. No yoga burn. If I had kept to the 30 minute rule look what else I would have engaged in and been much more fulfilled. Look what I could have accomplished and did not. I forgot to post live video on my group page.
Amazing what a simple 30 minute writing challenge can reveal.
Don’t give up. Scale it down. Stay consistent. Get back to it.
UH OH….LIFE GOT IN THE WAY!
What do you do? Do you give up? HELL NO! YOU DOWN SIZE the time making a smaller chunk consistency is the mantra – This is about growing habit and taking action. and the reward is the results and ROI. What is my ROI great content to build on for something that I can EARN from the experiences. Look how much writing I have been doing. It doesn’t mater if it junk it is a starting place. It is growing because of consistency A ONE STEP ACTION. It grows incrementally ( grossly+/- could add up to 150 minutes a week). It doesn’t matter if I wrote 5 or 10 minutes and had to scale it down it all adds up and at the end of the month there is bound to be something there that can be turned into GOLD. Not only that but the habit building of 1 step action at a time rolls over into the rest of my work flow and productivity. I become that much more productive in less time across the board. I could probably save a 2 weeks of work a year.
Yes the next step maybe to schedule the time in my work flow calendar. As if I didn’t think of that before. Too much pressure. I am still a little freedom fighter and battle up against lists, to dos time constraints. Yes I have trained myself to use them, keep them because in the end they bring me more freedom and less chaos. But there is a part of nervous system that has to digest and come to the idea on its own. It has to say I can do this without scheduling in. My smarty brain says no schedule it in dumb ass. Nervous system says: ” don’t tell me what to do, I can do it how I want”. Brain: “Ok dumb ass….don’t come crying to me when “I told you so”. Brain “Stubborn bad ass when will she learn and just do it the easy way, she has to make it hard on herself,how long will she do this for?” Before she succumbs to making it a valuable enough to go in the work flow calendar?
Sure I had a few slip ups a few days without posting. Life happens it gets in the way sort of it made me tired. I didn’t want to. Some feelings of guilt because I set up a challenge for myself all in and excited, so determined. But the reality is things happen, have compassion for self. Get back up and make an adjust grow the mental strength and fortitude without hitting your head against the wall. Without the self loathing because that gets you no where. Brain ” writing is valuable put in the work flow calendar, along with time for yoga, and Melt and passive brain fitness, meditation posting on FB group that you keep pushing off and filling the time conveniently with time wasters. ” What are you waiting for? Look at what you can engage in and how you would feel in your body if you took care of yourself in this way?
Still some resistance but making head way. The brain is right in this instance. The big question is why is not considered valuable enough? Why is other people’s stuff more valued than mine. Why do I leave myself out of the calendar? topic for another post…
Ok 20 minutes – i forgot to set the timer that is part of assignment. Idiot – dumb ass – I won’t give up. Back at it again tomorrow maybe in the calendar.